just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Randomize
