They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
