erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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