2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
