I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
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