You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
