At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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