ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
