She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
