so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
