Dual....:-)
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
