dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
