The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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