to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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