I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
