What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
