Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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