At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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