Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
