Kiss
Puke
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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