O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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