She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
