Everything about him screamed your future.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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