i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
