Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Just pee around me
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
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