Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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