Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
