Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
