They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
He melted the stem
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.