My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.