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• (917): View more from New York City

  sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though

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• (925): View more from California

  "Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu

  (773): View more from Illinois

  which is why it's clearly superior

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• (904): View more from Florida

  How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.

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• 

  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (734): View more from Michigan

  turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis

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• (813): View more from Florida

  he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (224): View more from Illinois

  you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.

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• (607): View more from New York

  just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?

  (340): View more from US Virgin Islands

  It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.

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