It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
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I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again