Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
