i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
