I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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