I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
