I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
