He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I would ride that face into the sunset
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
