I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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