It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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