If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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