forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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