names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
