So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize