Where is the hickey?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
