I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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