i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize