if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
