its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
