i think my mom watched the whole time
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
