Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
