I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
