If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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