I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
