he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
