I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
