She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
