I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
