If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
