no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
should my penis look like a turkey
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
