you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
