I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Randomize
