your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Acid is not a monday night drug
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
