your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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