Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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