Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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