Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
