When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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