That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
