If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
