Texts From Last Night

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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.

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  (412): My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him. http://tfl.nu/tue9
  Replies (8) Good night (4360) Bad night (939)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.

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  (678): He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going. http://tfl.nu/db5s
  Replies (20) Good night (4817) Bad night (1174)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.

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  (315): Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run. http://tfl.nu/6sa5
  Replies (13) Good night (1047) Bad night (2726)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?

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  (973): I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night? http://tfl.nu/cbpu
  Replies (8) Good night (6930) Bad night (1107)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.

  (1-615): View more from Tennessee

  Youre getting too old for this

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  (615): Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame. (1-615): Youre getting too old for this http://tfl.nu/7foh
  Replies (5) Good night (1593) Bad night (750)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever

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  (508): holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever http://tfl.nu/v6ie
  Replies (12) Good night (1523) Bad night (568)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.

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  (605): Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday. http://tfl.nu/aaw6
  Replies (15) Good night (3033) Bad night (607)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.

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  (856): It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain. http://tfl.nu/6yg4
  Replies (1) Good night (1269) Bad night (506)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.

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  (541): We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin. http://tfl.nu/h15a
  Replies (4) Good night (719) Bad night (494)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some

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  (307): who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some http://tfl.nu/7roh
  Replies (9) Good night (1067) Bad night (431)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is

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  (262): My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is http://tfl.nu/wa13
  Replies (5) Good night (843) Bad night (506)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.

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  (901): Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable. http://tfl.nu/r0ud
  Replies (11) Good night (1751) Bad night (456)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start

  (585): View more from New York

  Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...

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  (585): You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start (585): Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea... http://tfl.nu/3df9
  Replies (2) Good night (563) Bad night (352)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why is there a cash register on top of my car?

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  (215): Why is there a cash register on top of my car? http://tfl.nu/nfm6
  Replies (1) Good night (576) Bad night (339)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  "I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.

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  (954): "I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked. http://tfl.nu/k55c
  Replies (4) Good night (661) Bad night (467)

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