Texts From Last Night

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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess

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  (603): i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess http://tfl.nu/ousq
  Replies (24) Good night (908) Bad night (2665)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.

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  (908): her vagina looked like a handful of raisins. http://tfl.nu/5whx
  Replies (91) Good night (1307) Bad night (24330)
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  (858): View more from California

  She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.

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  (858): She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause. http://tfl.nu/nsj4
  Replies (38) Good night (5668) Bad night (733)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.

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  (360): Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song. http://tfl.nu/h927
  Replies (26) Good night (6268) Bad night (623)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had

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  (608): Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had http://tfl.nu/zigv
  Replies (25) Good night (3881) Bad night (624)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.

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  (201): So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her. http://tfl.nu/3bi4
  Replies (60) Good night (4209) Bad night (595)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.

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  (785): Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen. http://tfl.nu/ucck
  Replies (14) Good night (4619) Bad night (1438)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.

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  (240): I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good. http://tfl.nu/bq51
  Replies (98) Good night (27867) Bad night (1957)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.

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  (973): her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it. http://tfl.nu/lrhx
  Replies (10) Good night (5290) Bad night (942)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea

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  (484): Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea http://tfl.nu/f1ip
  Replies (5) Good night (1455) Bad night (1575)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  You'll get a boner for sure

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey

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  (540): You'll get a boner for sure (703): Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey http://tfl.nu/k43v
  Replies (3) Good night (1112) Bad night (485)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.

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  (478): I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second. http://tfl.nu/3zb1
  Replies (2) Good night (990) Bad night (456)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person

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  (816): I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person http://tfl.nu/5a3b
  Replies (2) Good night (1111) Bad night (433)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.

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  (304): I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything. http://tfl.nu/5k96
  Replies (16) Good night (1501) Bad night (544)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.

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  (949): We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex. http://tfl.nu/qzkw
  Replies (14) Good night (2422) Bad night (362)

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