your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
