yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.