Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
