did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I accidentally burped into my bong.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
