Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
