If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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